I am kind of autistic, am I?
I can’t bear the noise outside like, people chatting in a cafeteria, tramways, chatters in bars, repetitive sounds, crying childs, and many others.

But somehow, my way to isolate myself is to enter a bubble of my own creation, a space made from only my trusty headset, with the help of music and good noice cancellation.

How can isolating yourself from noise by coming into another bubble of noise helps? I have no fucking idea. Maybe again some kind of control over my own life.

Having control of everything in my life is my way to deal with it and having things that I don’t control gives me a high sense a distress.
Another example is getting stabbed (for medical purposes), I need to watch what is happening to me and the only reason why is that by getting the visual cues, I struggle to keep the bare minimum of control needed to stay sane.

This self made noise is usually messy, but still in tune with my mood.
Back in 2018, I started using Spotify. There’s better services out there but that’s what stuck with me.
I started back then to broaden my musical field of knowledge. To this day, I discovered a lot! I also went to some concerts and found some friendhships through music!

I started making playlists organized around some themes or moods.
I’m having a bad day? There’s a playlist to cope with that.
Feeling fantasy? Another playlist.
Wanna hear from a specific style? No problems, just take a randomly generated playlist.

Going through concerts made me discover two things:

• Big ones hurts me
• Small ones with a united crowd is a blast

There is one specific concert that I loved, went there years ago with my best friend, Spent the night there, singing with the crowd. That’s where I discovered that I like masses of people singing together.
This feeling of a strong connection, all living under the same banner, the same flag, living our best life, singing our lives away for a night

You don’t see what I mean? Here’s some examples (⚠️ beware, spotify previews are usually loud af)

I wasn’t one to sing loudly, I’ve always been self-conscious about my voice and for multiple reasons.
Back when I went into my first concert, that was the first time my best friend heard me sing.

These days, I’m more open about singing, even sometimes dancing? Who knows? I feel less restraints so I’m growing out of what was preventing me to try.

Liking music, trying new things made me broaden my horizons, made me go to concerts and I don’t intend to stop here.

On a side, because I’m a nerd, I’ve been using last.fm to gather data and more analytics on my tastes, my habits and obsessions.
It’s sort of a diary. Profiles are public but I don’t really feel like sharing that one :)
The only thing I’ll allow to share is this wall, the top 50 of the artists I listen to the most since 2019.

In the end, Music is a signal, and I’m in love with that one.
One of the few that don’t make me feel like crap.
Thank you 💜

Cover photo by Johannes Kopf on Unsplash